7 Best Ways to Deal With Feeling of Not Being Good Enough

7 Best Ways to Deal With Feeling of Not Being Good Enough

When you feel like you are not good enough, this feeling can be a debilitating emotion that can hold you back in all areas of life. The reason for getting this feeling can be low self-esteem, societal pressure to be perfect and unrealistic expectations. Every one of us gets this feeling at some point in our lives, and there are several ways to combat that. Let’s discuss in this article the  7 ways to deal with this problem.

Why do we get this feeling of not being good enough? 

Low self-esteem

Feelings of not being good enough are common experiences that can stem from a variety of factors. Some of the factors are:

  • Societal pressure: in today’s society we are bombarded with certain images and messages that suggest that we are not perfect. Society has made an image of perfection and according to that they judge and make people feel that they are not good enough. They make us think that to be happy and successful someone should fit in that image. This will lead to a comparison where we measure ourselves against others and feel like we are not good enough. (3)
  • Low self-esteem: you may not feel confident in your abilities if you have low self-esteem. This will lead to a constant feeling of inadequacy.
  • Unrealistic expectations: sometimes we set high unrealistic expectations for ourselves and try to achieve them but we end up feeling like we are constantly falling short. This can lead to feelings of failure and you start believing that you are not good enough.
  • Trauma: some trauma like abuse, and neglect can lead to a deep sense of shame and belief that you are not good enough. Trauma also affects your self-esteem and ability to trust others. (2) 

7 Best Ways to Deal With Feelings of Not Being Good Enough

Practice self-compassion

  • Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness and care that you would give to a close person or your friend who is going through such a difficult time. This involves acknowledgment of your flaws and mistakes you did without judging and recognising that everyone faces struggles at some times. Whenever you get this feeling that you are not good enough try to extend compassion to yourself and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. 

  • Reframe your negative self-talk

There is a big impact of talking to yourself about your feelings. The way you talk to yourself you will start feeling the same. If you feel that you are talking negatively about yourself then try to reframe it in a positive light. For example instead of saying ” I am not good enough” try saying” I am learning and growing and that is okay”. This helps you start thinking positively about yourself and you will think of things in other ways.

  • Set realistic expectations

Sometimes the reason for feeling not good enough can stem from unrealistic expectations that you have set for yourself. In this case, take a step back and evaluate whether your expectations are reasonable and adjust them if required because everyone’s body and capabilities are different. It is okay to strive for excellence but another more important thing is to recognise that perfection is impossible.

  • Celebrate your success

Celebrate your success

 It is important to acknowledge and celebrate your success instead of focusing on what you have not accomplished. No matter how small your success may seem, give yourself credit for the hard work to have put in to achieve that and celebrate it.

  • Focus on your strengths

 when you feel that you are not good enough it is easy to get bogged down in your weaknesses. But it is important to remember that everyone has their strength. Take your time to identify your strengths and focus on cultivating them. This will help you to achieve your goal and get rid of this feeling.

  • Seek support and talk to your close friends

Talking to someone you can trust can be a great way to get support and perspectives whenever you are getting this feeling of not being good enough. That person can be your friend, family, or therapist. Never think before asking them for help, they are never going to judge you. (1)

  • Take some action  

 Identify a specific area where you feel like you are not good enough and take small steps to improve it. It can be taking classes, or practicing new skills. It will help you to feel empowered and confident. 

How to ask for help when you feel something like this? 

People with this feeling of not being good enough usually do not discuss their thoughts with someone. They will be thinking about these things continuously and feel bad about it. Instead of this, you can try to talk to someone whom you can trust, because sometimes talking to someone who will never judge can be the best therapy. They will make you believe that you are good enough. 

Some studies show many people go through such thoughts and problems because they do not share these thoughts with someone. Sometimes the only thing you need is just a talking session with someone who listens to you and gives you the best advice. So, try doing this whenever you get such thoughts.


Feeling like you are not good enough can be a tough emotion to deal with but it is important to remember that it is a common experience. Practicing self-compassion, celebrating your success, stopping thinking negatively, and seeking support can help you to overcome this feeling. You will start feeling more confident and capable in your capabilities.


  • Social support and resilience to stress


  • Post-traumatic stress disorders


  • Prospective relations between social support and depression